Mrs B. is not happy. The local council have decided that her rubbish is simply not of a sufficiently high quality to be offered up to the altar of sustainability.

Her despicable crime was to place glass bottles into the Holy Black Box in such a manner that there was a commingling* of Glass and Metal. Yes, brothers and sisters, I must confess that my own wife did wilfully and with malice of forethought fail to separate the tin cans and glass using a suitable plastic container - for example a plastic shopping bag. I have made provisional enquires, and the bus to the reeducation camp leaves from the Brislington Park and Ride every Thursday. Mrs B's ticket is booked, and her card is marked.

Admittedly, after the Recycling Collection Executive (Senior) refused to accept the box, and after Mrs B. ran after the truck to protest, her precious offering of rubbish was finally accepted. But there is no avoiding the yellow mark of shame attached to our Black Box. Oh Infamy! Infamy!

Now the odd thing is, when Mrs B. rang the Recycling Team at the Council House, they reckoned that there was no requirement to separate the different types of recyclable waste with plastic bags. And if fact, I'm pretty sure that there is a big hoo-hah at the moment about reducing the number of plastic bags used by consumers, led by... the local Council. Here's a good example. (No links to http://www.bristol.gov.uk unfortunately, as the whole site is currently down).

In the event that you too are given the Yellow Mark of Shame, I suppose you'll have no option but to leave your rubbish stinking up the street for another week. Or will you get another telling off for that?

Before I get publicly accused of being a "Recycling Denier", I would point out that I'm all in favour of recycling when it's economically sensible - sustainable, one might say. Take a trip down to the Port of Bristol and you'll see huge mounds of scrap iron, ready to be shipped off to the developing world to be reused.

But I'm starting to wonder why we're having our narrow city streets ruined by a proliferation of plastic bins in all the colours of the rainbow (for which we must pay extra), the self same bins to be found blowing around in the wind every time it gets a bit gusty. Not to mention having to keep a box of potato peelings and rotting leftovers in the kitchen. (Our bill for bleach and Dettol has gone up this year).

The ultimate rationale? The Council have a statutory duty to meet European Union landfill targets or face financial penalties of £150 per tonne of waste sent to landfill over our allotted quota.

In case you were wondering, the total cost of Waste Disposal in the city is now running at £24,500,000. According to the figures for 2008, we'll be paying another £1,000,000 of Landfill penalties to Brussels, £2,500,000 for all the new recycling nubbins (operators, trucks, boxes), £300,000 extra on a team of people to deal with a strange increase in fly-tipping, £100,000 extra to clean the mysteriously dirtier streets, and £100,000 to combat the unexplained and completely unfathomable increase in the Bristolian rat population. Oh yes, and £300,000 for the actions proposed by the Citizens Jury report.

Now for some fun with numbers. Pay attention at the back.

Bristol waste collection in 2008 will cost about £28,800,000.00. Twenty Eight Million, Eight Hundred Thousand Pounds. That's equivalent to around £150.00 for every council tax payer.

We only spend £147.00 per head on the Police last year.

THIS CITY IS SPENDING MORE ON RUBBISH COLLECTION THAN ON THE POLICE.

Are you shocked? No? Really? Then let's have another go:

Average earnings in the UK are about £23,700.00 per annum. That includes London, so the average wage in Bristol is probably less, but never mind. The government takes around 40% of that in taxes. (Only four months to Tax Freedom Day). So take-home pay is £14,400 for a typical Bristolian.

To pay for waste collection in Bristol, you need the take home pay of 2,025 Bristolians, or 0.5% of the city population. Are you angry yet?

Time for some further investigation, I think. Now where did I leave that Citizens Jury report?